We have been married almost 4 years this summer. It's been awesome. Really. We are so compatible. I am competitive, he's not at all. We both are go-with-the-flow and pretty laid back about the little things. I think I can count on 2 fingers the number of fights we have had. We are lovers not fighters I guess : )
However, we are reaching the point in our marriage where familiarity, school/work, children and routine are all taking it's toll on our relationship. We aren't struggling or anything but we are noticing that we have to actually put forth effort to connect with each other.
That was the one thing we heard over and over as newlyweds; that we would reach a point, 3-4 years out, where the flame of passion (yes someone actually used that phrase) would not be enough to sustain us. And of course as newlyweds we were like "puhlease, our honeymoon phase will never end!" But honestly they were right. Marriage after time, becomes work no matter how compatible you are.
On top of reaching the 3-4 year "honeymoon's over" phase, Garett spent 3 months in Dallas for his internship while Anders and I stayed in Provo. A lot of effort was needed to help us still feel connected over that time period.
During that time I spent a lot of time thinking about the different things I could be doing to reach out to him and let him know I was thinking about him. So naturally I hopped on Pinterest and I created a board just for him and on it I pinned fun ideas, marriage articles, little gift ideas, etc that I thought Garett would appreciate.
It was awesome. I kept remembering little things that Garett loves and I would search out ideas and find a million different things I could do. For example, I know that Garett loves thought provoking "Would You Rather" questions and since I was going to be driving 19 hours back with him from Texas I found a bunch of links to questions and pinned them to my board so I could just pull them up in the car. That is why Pinterest is a rockstar. I honestly don't have time to be that creative. All I have to do is think of one idea then Pinterest shows me so many ways to accomplish it.
After all the articles I have read and ideas I have seen here are just a few ideas that you can do right away to surprise your man and let him know you are still in love!
1. Flirt
This is how you fell in love in the first place! The prolonged staring, the lingering touch, etc. Anytime you get the chance you should flirt. Garett is a champion flirter. My favorite is when we are out in public just doing everyday routines like grocery shopping and I catch Garett staring at me as I'm loading the cart with produce. Then he quickly grabs my butt! (Sorry if that's too much but I'm not going to lie it's sexy when he does that!). We have been caught once. A coworker once told me she laughed out loud at the grocery store when she saw Garett make that move. Oops!
2. Date/Quality Time
This is the advice I see the most. Date your spouse regularly. Set aside a day or time every week that is for you two. We don't always go out for our date. The reality is sometimes children, budgets, etc make going out every week unrealistic. But you should still have your special time.
Garett and I probably go out on an actual date 2-3 times a month. But we do stuff together at home. Just this Saturday night we were both working on separate things in separate rooms after we had put Anders to bed. I looked at the clock and it was 9:55 pm. I got up, walked to Garett in the dining room and said, "you, me, Prison Break and leftover cupcakes at 10:30?" It was a date; in our pjs, on our couch with a couple of cupcakes. We like that sort of thing though. We ended up giving each other massages too which was nice; and yes it ended at massages ; )
3. Write notes to each other
I'm not talking about texts. I mean actual handwritten notes. Garett and I did this for quite some time before Anders was born. We'd leave them in random places in the house. My favorite though was passing off notes between each other in church. We would each write a letter to each other during the 2nd hour of church then when we went to our separate classes during 3rd hour we would have a lengthy note to read. I was always grinning like a fool in class and would even have to stifle a laugh every once and a while. People probably thought I was special or something.
It reminds me of a time before cell phones, when you had to pass notes to talk to your friends during class. There's something old school and romantic about it. Try it. You'll enjoy it.
Along with handwritten notes you can send flirty/loving texts too! Click here to read a great article with ideas for texting your spouse.
Those are just some of the fun marriage strengthening ideas you can find on Pinterest. Create your own board for you and your spouse and start collecting fun and different ideas that work for you!
And because I said this blog is also about Ander's Attic I thought I'd post a couple of my creations that relate to this topic : ) Enjoy! Again, use code NEWBLOG for 10% off!
***This one is a perfect way to let your spouse know whether or not "it" is going to happen tonight : ) I've given this one as a bridal shower gift and it's always a hit!
